For the 8th day of the 16 Days of Activism, we are proud to share a special blog list of 16 memorable ways of dealing with street harassment which has been kindly compiled by Holly Kearl, Founder of Stop Street Harassment and one of our 16 Female Role Models of 2010.
Almost 100% of women and girls experience street harassment in their lifetimes ranging from the uncomfortable to the downright dangerous. Holly receives many stories of women fighting back against street harassment by themselves or with the help of friends, family and bystanders which is shared on the Stop Street Harassment website and Facebook page to help raise awareness of this particular type of violence against women as well as provide inspiration and ideas for everyone on making public places and spaces safe ones for women.
This list provides a starting point for all to learn about and discuss the impact of street harassment. We hope it’ll inspire you to take action.
It’s time to stop violence against women. Together.
- Regina Yau, Founder and President, The Pixel Project
Most women experience street harassment at some point in their life, especially when they’re young. When it happens, it can be upsetting, stunning, and humiliating and the instinctual response many women have is to simply ignore it. Sometimes ignoring harassers is necessary because it is the safest option, or there is no time to respond any other way, but ignoring harassers usually feels disempowering to the person being harassed and it does not challenge the behavior of the harasser.
While there is no one right way to respond to harassers, an assertive response often makes the harasser think twice about harassing someone else in the future and can make the person who was harassed feel a bit better!
Here are 16 ways women dealt with street harassers in the past year. From their stories, I hope you can find inspiration for how to deal with harassers you encounter:
Memorable Fight-Back 1: 22-year old college student Shyane DeJesus attacked, berated, and snapped a cell phone picture of a man who groped her on a subway platform in New York City. A few days later she picked him out of a line-up of suspects. She advises women, “Don’t let them scare you. They’re cowards.” [Photo of DeJesus from NYPost:]
Memorable Fight-Back 3: Jo in Kent, England, reported a harasser after he decided it was a good idea to make crude comments about her breasts while wearing his work vest with the company’s name on it. Once Jo got home, she contacted the company, and they were quick to respond and they assured her they would talk to the full staff about appropriate ways to talk and interact with members of the public. When she shared her story, Jo wrote, “Whatever happens, I’ll keep on fighting.”
Memorable Fight-Back 4: On the ACLU’s blog Robyn recounted how a man whacked her butt when she was walking to work one morning. She wrote, “I hesitated a moment. Did that really just happen?…I ran after the dude.”
When she caught up to him she demanded, “You think that shit is funny? You like hitting women, huh? You think that’s the correct way to act? Whatsamatterwityou?” and he said, “Ma’am I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She retorted with, “”You know goddamn well what I’m talking about. YOU DON’T HIT WOMEN, ASSHOLE.” Robyn ended up calling the police and four officers came to help her though he was gone by the time they arrived. At the end of her story, she notes, “I know what happened to me could have been a lot, lot worse. But someone doesn’t have to be raped to be humiliated, violated and hurt. Sometimes, all it takes is a smack on the ass.”
Memorable Fight-Back 5: “You got great legs baby!” a 43-year-old man told Brittney, a 15-year-old girl, as she waited for the subway on her way to school. In response, she said, “Excuse me, you probably have a daughter older than me.”
Unconcerned by that thought he said, “Sorry you just look so sexy in that schoolgirl outfit I couldn’t help it and you do have great legs.” Undeterred, Brittney said, “Sexual harassment is a crime, leave me alone or I will report you,” and the harasser hurried away. At the end of her story she wrote, “I count that as a win for me because I hear things like that all the time and I finally stood up for myself and said something.”
Memorable Fight-Back 6: K. Wilkins in Ontario, Canada, was locking her bike up outside a bank and witnessed three men harass two women walking near them. She said the women looked so uncomfortable and so she took a deep breath and yelled across the street, “You, stop harassing these women.” The harassers booed her, but the young women thanked her. She said, “I witness, hear about, and am subjected to this bullshit daily. I am speaking out!!”
Memorable Fight-Back 7: Allison in Massachusetts confronted a street harasser for the first time. A man said, “Smile beautiful,” as she waited for a bus. After freezing initially, she followed him and said, “Just so you know, it doesn’t make women feel good when you tell them to smile. Sometimes people have shitty days and they don’t feel like smiling. It’s offensive to just tell them to smile.” He apologized.
Memorable Fight-Back 8: Tired of dealing with street harassers, anonymous in North Carolina decided to retort back when a man sitting on a bench outside the library told her she was “So Beautiful.” She turned and looked into his eyes and told him, “You’re not.” She wrote, “Commenting on a strange woman’s physical appearance is rude and insensitive – it is ugly. I don’t care if people look at me, but no one has the right to speak to me, touch me or approach me.”
Memorable Fight-Back 9: RDH in Tennessee was walking home after dark and a car started creeping behind her. The driver lowered the car window and asked if he could “hollar” at her. RDH was scared, but she still stood up to him. She asked him how he would like it if his mother or sister was walking and some random stranger came creeping up behind them. She ended up getting an apology.
Memorable Fight-Back 10: This past spring a writer at Clutch Magazine asked women how they handle their street harassers. Commenter Inka said, “I usually tell them I’m a man, and that shuts them up instantly. I don’t know if they believe me, but it always gets them to shut up.”
Memorable Fight-Back 11: Jane was tired of construction workers congregating on her street leering at women walking by. She emailed the construction company and after that the men no longer stood around on the street leering at women.
Memorable Fight-Back 12: Earlier this year, Melissa wrote an article for ToughxCookies about dealing with street harassment as a lesbian: “One time, my then-girlfriend and I decided — during a routine walk in the park, which is where we had a lot of negative experiences — to take pictures of every person who stared or hollered at us. If they asked why we were photographing them, we’d straight-up tell them: ‘We’re taking pictures of everyone who feels the need to harass us today, to make us feel like we can’t walk down the street holding hands like any other couple.’”
Memorable Fight-Back 13: Anonymous in Washington, D.C., said, “Stop harassing women” to a man who was harassing every woman walking by him as he stood outside Union Station. Her directive silenced him.
Memorable Fight-Back 14: After years of street harassment experiences, when a man groped Kate on a subway platform in New York City, she wrote, “Without thinking I turned around and hit him as hard as I possibly could. I didn’t even stop walking, nor did I say anything. I did turn around to look at him as I hit him, and his face was one of shock but not of surprise. He knew why I had hit him; he just couldn’t believe he hadn’t gotten away with it.”
Memorable Fight-Back 15: Anne was at a McDonald’s in Vermont with a friend when she noticed a young man two tables over was leering at them. Then she noticed he was masturbating. She said, “Stop that right now! That is not okay!” He denied doing anything so she notified the manager on duty, and called the police.
Memorable Fight-Back 16: Last fall, Nicola Briggs made headlines by calling out a subway pervert who had his penis out against her on the New York City subway (a video of it went viral on YouTube). During the subway incident, Nicola didn’t think about being polite or worry about making a scene. She called the guy out loudly, got bystanders to help make sure he didn’t get away, and reported him to police. He was arrested and later convicted.